*What are my options if I’m pregnant?
*Is it okay to feel detached from my unborn child?
*What if I haven’t been to the doctor?
*Do I have to tell the birthfather?
*What if the birthfather wants to be involved in the adoption process?
*Do I have to tell my parents?
*What type of adoption is available to me and will my child be able to contact me someday?
*Do I pick the adoptive parents?
*How will I know my baby is with a good family and is taken care of?
*What will my child be told about his/her birthparents someday?
*What happens after the baby is born? Will I see the baby?
*If I want to make an adoption plan when is my decision final?
*Do I get information about my child?
*Why is counseling important?
What are my options if I’m pregnant?
It is likely the decision you make about your pregnancy will have a great impact on your life. It is up to you to make an informed decision as you consider your choices. When you find out you are pregnant you have three options. Your options include parenting the child yourself or with your partner, abortion, or choosing an adoptive family for your child. Your counselor will review each choice with you, and make sure you have all the information you need to make good decisions for you and your child . Your counselor will guide you through your different options. Only you can make this decision for you and your child. It’s important that you make a plan for you and your child, and your counselor will support the plan you choose.
Is it okay to feel detached from my unborn child?
When finding out about an unplanned pregnancy you will go through a lot of different emotions. You may not know exactly what to feel or how to express those feelings. Sometimes you may even convince yourself to deny the pregnancy completely. This is somewhat normal when trying to decide what to do about an unplanned pregnancy. Your counselor will be able to help you sort through your emotions and figure out what to do. You will be able to go through each feeling and really think about your emotions and how they are affecting you and this decision.
What if I haven’t been to the doctor?
Our primary concern is you and your health during this process. If you have not been to the doctor we will help you find one at any point in your pregnancy. Your counselor will be able to help locate a doctor and choose a medical plan that is best for you. If you go into labor before seeing a doctor it is okay. We will meet you at the hospital and plan an adoption from that point. When planning an adoption the agency has procedures in place to allow you to see the doctor free of cost to you.
Do I have to tell the birthfather?
In Texas the law does not require you to notify the birthfather, unless you are married to him. He still has a right to try and establish a legal relationship to the child for a period of time. Every situation is different, but in most cases it is better if he is asked to consent to the adoption. This is not as frightening as you think. If you would like, your counselor will handle this for you. We ask that you be completely honest in telling us who the birthfather is. Your counselor will explain the different options.
What if the birthfather wants to be involved in the adoption process?
We welcome any involvement from the birthfather in wanting to place his child for adoption. Some birthfathers realize the importance of giving information about their social and genetic background for the child. The birthfather is welcome to come to a visit with the birthmother or schedule and individual session.
Most unplanned pregnancies come with a sense of anxiety or even fear. It can be an overwhelming thought of hiding the pregnancy. In the state of Texas, you are legally able to make decisions for your child at any age. Your counselor will help you with all of your medical care and transportation, and will be there with you. You do not have to tell your parents. You need only tell the people you choose. If you are a minor you are not required to tell your parents or obtain their consent to place a child for adoption, but we would strongly urge you to do so. Your support system can be very important in this process. You may feel telling your parents will make them angry or disappointed with you, but knowing you have a mature and stable plan will help, and your counselor would help you if you wished.
What type of adoption is available to me and will my child be able to contact me someday?
When making a final decision about adoption it is up to the birthparents to decide if they would like the child to be able to contact them someday. You have several choices when choosing what you think is best for you and your child. You can have little or no contact in your adoption agreement or full contact including pictures and letters, and even visits. If you would like your records to be kept confidential we will seal your file. If you would like your child to be able to contact you we will make note of it in your file and it will remain open. Your counselor will be able to present several different options and help you decide what type of contact will be best for you and your child for up to 18 years after the date of birth.
Do I pick the adoptive parents?
Many birthmoms choose the adoptive parents for their child. That is also your choice to choose them or not. Your counselor would present you with several families that meet the ideas you share with her about the kind of family you want for your child. You would see photo albums and receive information about these families. You can choose and meet your family, and your counselor would be there all the time. You can have them at the hospital or not. You can also have the agency choose for you, and get pictures and letters or have no contact at all. If you later changed your mind, you could begin receiving the pictures and letters. The choices are yours.
How will I know my baby is with a good family and is taken care of?
Adoption agencies have set guidelines and procedures for prospective adoptive parents to follow before being able to adopt a child. The investigative process they have to go through includes FBI checks, domestic violence checks, financal background checks, child abuse checks, and on and on. I can promise you they really want to parent! You will be able to look at photo albums the adoptive parents have made just for you. They will hopefully tell you about their life and what is most important to them. After choosing the family you have the choice to speak with them over the phone or even meet them face-to-face. Your counselor and you would meet them for lunch to meet as real people who will share something precious and profound. You need to have a good feeling about them.
What will my child be told about his/her birthparents someday?
In the adoption process you will be able to give the adoptive parents medical and genetic information about you. This information can be passed onto the child. We also offer a “When You Wonder” book to both birthparents. This book gives the birthfather and birthmother a chance to tell the child about them. It is a chance for you to tell your “story” to your child. This book can be one of the greatest gifts you give your child. Your counselor will guide you through this process as you decide what information to share. It will of course be up to the adoptive parents when this information is passed on. We advise adoptive parents to use age appropriate information as the child’s interest grows in knowing who their birthparents are and where they came from.
What happens after the baby is born? Will I see the baby?
At the hospital, you may have whomever you would like with you. Your counselor and adoptive parents will be there if you want them to be. Birthmothers stay from six hours to two days. The time depends on the health and wishes of the birthmom. During your stay at the hospital you can see the baby as much or as little as you want to. You and your counselor will talk about your hospital stay before delivery. Each situation is completely different. Whatever you choose to do will be perfect for you and the baby.
When it is time for the baby to be released from the hospital the baby will go with the adoptive parents. Your counselor will stay with you if you are not already released from the hospital at this point. It is around this same time you will sign your relinquishments to make the adoption possible for your child. You have 48 hours after the baby is born before signing your relinquishments. The legal documents are final, and you could not change your mind at this point. This is legally closed file and not open to public records.
If I want to make an adoption plan when is my decision final?
You can call at any point during your pregnancy to make an adoption plan. Your counselor will work with you to make the best decision possible for you and your baby. You may sign your relinquishment 48 hours after the birth of the child, but no sooner than that. Nothing is permanent until then. We advise you to take the time you need to make this final decision. You will receive a sample of these relinquishments when you first meet with your counselor.
Do I get information about my child?
Many birthmoms receive pictures and letters and even videos from the adoptive parents. These are received at the agency, and we forward them on to you. You would have complete confidentiality, and only you could receive them. Again the choices are yours.
We suggest talking to a counselor when making decisions concerning an unplanned pregnancy. A counselor will help you to understand and cope with the wide range of emotions you may be feeling. A counselor will look out for your best interest and support you as you make decisions. A lot of times in an unplanned pregnancy a support system tends to be limited or non-existent. A counselor will be available at anytime you need someone to talk to. If you are going through this pregnancy alone they will be at your side. Your counselor will be as involved as you want them to be. You can choose if you want them in delivery and/or at the hospital with you. A counselor can also provide information about community resources in your city that can help you medically and financially.
Most importantly, an agency provides counseling and support, before, during and after placement of your child into a home. They should take care of all medical expenses and travel to the hospital, doctor, and office. They should explain all of the adoption process to you, provide you legal services, and should make sure you have access to them 24 hours a day.
