Waiting Families
Most websites show you a list of families who are waiting to adopt, and the idea is you will choose one of them. We do want you to choose the family for your child, but both families and birthmoms have ideas about the right fit for each one of them. Some families are completely open about the race and ethnicity of a child, and other families are more comfortable with a child that looks more like them. Even if a family is open to a different race child, the agency homestudy should determine that their extended families – aunts, uncles, grandparents, etc. are also open and will be loving and accepting of differences. Another example would be some families are open to drug exposure, drinking and mental health problems in a birthmom’s background, and other families are not open to even recreational substance abuse.
We are a licensed child placing agency by the state of Texas, and we have been for 18 years. A licensed agency also protects you by doing extensive background checks on prospective parents that include an FBI background check as well as child abuse and domestic violence clearances. You are entitled to know the environment each family can provide for your child. I can also tell you that only a tiny number of our adoptive families have ever gotten divorces too. Adoptive parents have had a great deal of pain and loss on their road to becoming a family. Almost all of them have either lost a child early in life, or were never able to have a child. Their marriages seem to develop a rock solid foundation, and my belief is you couldn’t find more stability. We all know this is something that children and families need. It is often not easy to provide this, but through an adoption plan, you can give your child a very stable and loving home. The family that you choose will not love your child any more than you do, but they will love as much. The difference is they are ready, and children can’t afford to wait until someone is ready to parent. Parenting is the most important job in the world, and you can decide for your child how best to provide parenting.
When you are deciding on the family you will give to your child, you will want to ask yourself what you would provide for your child if timing and circumstances were different. This is an opportunity to give your child the best of this world – two loving parents who are so ready to take on this responsibility, with a maturity and track record that gives them the financial and emotional stability to parent, but they are not able to have children of their own. Your child will always know about your choices for them, and you will be honored. We have a saying at the agency, “If you honor your birthmother, you honor your child”. Your child will know he/she is a good person because they came from a good person. They will know it was a sacrifice for you, and a difficult, painful and unselfish choice to give a child a family when you are not ready yourself.
When you and your counselor have identified what is important to you, she will present you with profiles and albums of families who meet your expectations. We have families for every child, regardless of the condition or background of the child or the mom. If your child is not born healthy, and requires a special needs approved family, we would also be able to provide that. This is very unusual, and babies are amazingly resilient, but we want you to have the comfort that we would have the exact right family for your child, no matter what. You can also choose from single parents or same sex parents as well. We have adoptive families of every type, and all the choices are yours. We will listen and support you, and make sure that the choices are yours, and that you are not alone in this process. We will always respect your choices. All of our families are willing to provide ongoing contact to you with pictures and updates and even videos several times per year, if you would like this. If you are not comfortable at birth with ongoing contact, you could begin it later if you changed your mind. Adoption is very different today, and you can have the adoption plan that is right for you. Your counselor will help you make that plan.
If you decide to parent, we will help you make a parenting plan as well. The most important decisions in your life should be planned. There is help and support.
Warmly, Debbie Hug
Director
These are just a few of our families who volunteered to be on our website. When working with your counselor you will be able to give guidelines as to what type of family you want for your child. Please remember you never “give a child away” – you are giving a child a family.
