This is probably a very difficult and stressful time in your life, if your pregnancy is an unplanned one. We know that unplanned does not mean unloved. You may not feel ready or able to care for a child at this time in your life, but there are options available to you. Adoption Access is a social service agency for birthmothers. We offer resources at no cost to birthmothers who are struggling with this important and life-long decision. You are making decisions for yourself and a child. Our counselors will help you look at all the options and resources available to make the plan that is right for you. You are the only one who can make the plan that is best for you and your child. You would get an individual counselor who is there to be an advocate for you, and make sure you know all of your options and choices, and that they are respected.
Adoption is one of the possible options to an unplanned pregnancy. More and more young women are choosing this path. It is not an easy choice but a very loving and courageous choice. Adoption is very different now than in the past. Again an individual counselor is there for each birthmother. Be sure you check out the video messages from our counselors Mary and Debby. Your counselor becomes a part of your support system, and is happy to be with you at labor and delivery if you want her there. She is there for more than emotional support too. She will make sure that you are receiving good medical care, and that your basic needs are being met for food and shelter. The agency is licensed by the state and is able to provide financial help for young women who qualify for assistance. This can range from medical care and maternity clothes to food, shelter and utilities. The agency can also provide transportation to counseling and to doctor appointments. We try very hard to make this time less stressful for you. Your counselor is there for you after the birth of your baby as well. She understands your decision is for your child for the most part, and the sacrifice is yours. She wil be there for support afterwards too. She will make sure again your wishes and desires are understood and followed.
A birthmother is able to choose a family and is given a great deal of background information about them. She will be able to see pictures of the family, their home, grandparents, etc. She even knows why they cannot have children of their own. She can meet with the family she chooses as well, and her counselor would be there with her. There are far more families who cannot have children than there are children available. You can choose for your child a home with a long and stable two-parent marital history, financial stability, emotional stability, and psychological stability. Such an environment provides a firm foundation and healthy home in which your child can grow. You can give your child an incredible gift of love and stability and maturity and financial stability to realize all of his or her potential, and there are no deep, dark secrets. You can keep in touch to the extent you feel comfortable. All of our families will keep in touch with pictures, letters, videos, etc. Again, the choices are yours. Some birthmoms do not choose to receive ongoing contact during this time, but can chanage their minds in the future.
Please call us if we can help you in any way. We care very much, and we know this is a difficult time for you. Our phones are answered 24 hours a day by a counselor, never a service.
1-800-FREE HUG.
Debbie Hug
Executive Director
Making an adoption plan for your child takes courage and maturity. You often need to separate your needs from those of your child and put your child’s needs first.
Adoption is a loving and legal process in which the birth parents’ rights to parent their child are transferred to adoptive parents, who are then given full permanent custody of the child.
If you place your child for adoption, your rights will be legally and permanently terminated. For your own protection, your parental rights can only be terminated after your child is born. In Texas you cannot sign any legal paperwork until 48 hours after birth. When you do sign your legal documents, which will have been given and explained to you before any signing, they are permanent, final and irrevocable.
When you choose adoption because you believe it best for your child, it is called voluntary termination. (There are also involuntary terminations, where birth parents are forced to give up custody of their child because of abuse or neglect.)
Explore Your Options
You Have Choices!
“I was in shock when I found out I was pregnant. After the numbness wore off, I felt overwhelmed. There were decisions to make about school, college, my job, where I’d live, money, my boyfriend, and so on. The biggest decision was what I was going to do with my baby.” -Anne, age 21\
Today most people assume that if you are pregnant you will parent your child. Years ago it was assumed that a young person would make an adoption plan if she became pregnant before marriage. Both assumptions can ignore what is best for a particular parent or child.
Remember that you have choices, and having choices to make is a privilege. At times you may wish that someone else would make your decisions for you. You don’t need to decide right away. Take your time to examine all your choices. With the help of a social worker or other adult whom you trust, you will gradually be able to make a sound decision.
Only You Should Decide
The most difficult decision will involve making a responsible plan for your child’s future. Choosing to make an adoption plan or choosing to parent will have lifelong consequences for both of you.
Your decision cannot be made by friends or parents. It should not be based on what others have done in similar situations. Your decision should not be determined by what you see in the movies or on television.
To decide wisely, consider how each choice will affect your life and your child’s life. Explore your feelings and talk about them with the important people in your life. Then make your decision based on what you as the birth parent know is best for your child and for you.
Making Informed Decisions
Perhaps you’re thinking, “I know some young single parents who are doing a fine job. Why do I need to know about adoption?” It is important that you know some of the concerns related to being a single parent or marrying only because you’re pregnant.
